A Mindful Shift. Focus.
BY GINA FEGALI
Throughout the day, we get frustrated, irritated or even angry.
Among many daily situations, we got frustrated. All the 3D things! When technology doesn’t work the way we want, when someone tells us we’re wrong, when we get in traffic, when a loved one doesn’t behave the way we like, when technology doesn’t work the way we want, when dinner is ruined, and the list goes on…
These frustrations can build up into unhappiness, relationship problems, work problems, built up stress, blowing your top at someone when you lose your cool. Not always helpful stuff! So i’m going to suggest a mindful shift in focus to deal with frustrations.
The next technique, is a mindfulness practice which I highly recommend it, but still remember to adapt it the best way it suits you, for your own truth and your inner growth.
But first, lets start by talking about where frustration comes from and then how we could create and decided the mindfully shift.
Mindfulness of Frustration
The next time you experience frustration, just notice it, observe it. Just be mindful that you’re unhappy with something or someone, that you’re feeling frustration in your body somehow. And be aware in which part of your body is manifesting.
Pay attention to your breathing, to the tightness in your chest, shoulders, or neck. How is feeling your body?
Stay connected to this feeling for just a couple moments, if you have the courage to do so, because is showing you so many realities, need to process and integrate within you. Normally, we run away from paying attention to this feelings built up, from your past, or even from your childhood. Try to resolve it by fixing the situation, making people behave differently, just imagine it. If possible try to stay with it the longest time you can, with an open heart and from a healing place.
Now notice what it is really missing from this moment? what’s really the motive that has created the frustration on the first place? Is there anything that you will wish were different? Frustration stems from what you don’t have!
Take your power back! Mindfulness of Your own Story
When we’re missing something we want, and we’re frustrated, irritated, angry … we often spin the story around in our heads for awhile. “It’s so irritating when he acts this way,” or “Why can’t she just be more …” or, “why, tell me, why? this is happening to me?” among others.
We get caught up in this story, stuck on it and at the end, attached to it. Which creates more and more frustration. We wish things were different, wish other people would behave differently, wish people could see that we’re right. Or appreciate us more often, right?
It’s easy to get caught up. It’s not so easy to notice that we’re caught up, when it happens. But if you can notice it, just notice that you’re telling yourself a story about this situation. It’s a story about how you wish things were different, how things aren’t how you want them to be.
Sit and watch yourself get caught up in this story. Sit and stay with the feelings it produces.
Then see if you can notice that the story isn’t so solid. It’s not so real. It’s more of a dream that you’re in. Can things lighten up if you notice the dreamlike nature of this story?
Mindfulness of What Is Already Here
If we’re focusing on what we don’t have, and it’s frustrating us … then the opposite just might help us.
The antidote to frustration is appreciating what’s already here, in this moment.
That might not seem true when frustration arises, because the truth is, we just want things to be our way. We just want other people to act the way we think they should act, or want life to go the way we want it to go.
Unfortunately, that is usually not going to be the case. Sometimes we can force people to act the way we want, if we have power over them, but that will create a bad relationship with them, and in the end, neither person will be happy.
Recognize the injustice, be mindful of your frustrations, appreciate life in the present moment to calm your frustrations … then compassionately engage with everyone else to work on righting the injustice. Have a love-driven dialogue with everyone else, rather than fear-based or anger-driven interactions. Stand up to abuse, but that doesn’t mean throw a brick in anger.
I don’t have the answers, and my heart goes out to all who are grieving, afraid, hurt, feeling helpless, fed up, frustrated or angry.
My only hope is that in the middle of all the sorrow that exits and the war between humans, we can really appreciate the gift of LIFE that we’ve been given to us, and find love for our fellow human beings despite all their flaws and differences.